The Struggle Of Finding A Best Friend
I don’t think I have really ever had a best friend. That’s not to say I have not had any friends or any close friends…..because I have. Lots in fact. I have even had close friends that have been so close, I have almost called them my best friend….
It can often feel like you are missing out, not having a best friend that is. But more so, it can often feel like you are doing something wrong. It can’t possibly be, NOT to have a best friend? Or can it? Is this normal? Why don’t I have one? GAAHHHHHH
The endless craving for one can drive you mad. The loneliness of a CERTAIN companionship. Blinded by films and OTHER best friends in this world, we build up a picture of what a best friend truly is. In a weird sense, ‘your other half’, ‘the person you can go to for anything’, ‘the person who knows everything about you’, ‘the person who can come to your house and be chummy with your parents’. I can safely say, I have never experienced this sort of relationship. It doesn’t make me sad - nor do I really care half as much as I used to as a child or a young teen. I do feel like however, I have lost a bit of my innocence on my laborious journey to find the best friend. And quite simply, I haven’t found them yet.
Maybe I won’t ever find the sort of friend I want….maybe that sort of person doesn’t even exist. I hope they do though however. But what I have realized is, you have to be your own best friend first, to fix yourself when you are down, not to rely on others too much nor to ask for too much from your friends.
It’s an open book really. I have the rest of my life to continue this exuberant search.